It’s Hard To Look, Even Harder To Feel.


Abuse is never simple.  It’s a turning away from what is considered normal within a given culture.  A painful human condition that is bound to repeat, if courage is not taken to look it straight in the eyes long enough to demand change.  A demand of change both by the society, the survivor and yes even the perpetrator.

Lone Footprints

It’s been many foot prints since I’ve felt the pang of a strangled heart.

Muffled, a heart beats sound beneath the barbs of words thrust against it so.

Off guard, grabbed between beats, as if in ambush, the prey was made with heavily loaded opponent at the ready.

Swift was the blow, but slow was the drag.  Fangs sent deep into tender flesh.  Careless in the ripping apart, and in the aftermath, a quiet, mournful stillness,

for the victor has gone.

I lie half-dazed, and wonder why?

I’ve been attacked in the past by the same force, yet not with such furry.

Story told now by the loss of look back

blood trail cold from the years

vacant of voice and distant of care

the predator slides off.

I,  frozen in my chair

heart will not expand,

such a vise tightly wrapped

breath comes so hard

as Mom walks out of sight.

This is a tough subject.  I wrote this poem from the depths of despair, and the need to let others know of the silent epidemic our world faces.  The family unit is under attack and has been for quite a while.  Our family is no different, and has had no protections as you can gather from the poems content.  This poem is dedicated to all those who have passed and those who have survived and know the pain of a dysfunctional family or worse.  When I say all those, I don’t mean just the little ones.  I mean defenseless children, and the children that survive to live into adulthood and find they need to figure out somehow, how to make their way in the world.   These children grow to find they lack the proper tools to learn how to function and live their lives in a way that they are not re-enacting the same pain within their own family units.  It’s a battle that so many are faced with.  The survivors of childhood abuse.  May we all find the tools along the way to break the chain of abuse along our path of life.  May we not only survive but thrive with a self-love and a new way to care for others that was not shown to us. 

The way to break the chain of abuse is by understanding the abuse that happened to ones own person.  That discovery is a painful one but one that is well worth the pain.  You cannot change something untill you understand that is was wrong in the first place.   As a child you only know what you are taught by those that are raising you.  You believe them, if they are doing wrong then you are starting out on the wrong foot and need to rebuild your foundation.  It’s a rebuilding project that can take many years to a lifetime.  This rebuilding can lead to special qualities for an individual, special capacity for empathy and listening abilities.  Cheers to the survivors.

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About pawzy4

I love animals & working to protect them. The way I do this is mainly by supporting environmental bills that will help ensure their safety. I have two tri color Collies of my own, named Kindr N Stix that I adore & love to write about as well. I enjoy to throw a splash of humor and music videos when the mood strikes me as well. Welcome and hope you enjoy your visit.
This entry was posted in Inspirational / Daily Living, Poetry. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to It’s Hard To Look, Even Harder To Feel.

  1. Mary A says:

    My heart breaks and rejoices as I read this. There is hope…from the ashes there can rise a phoenix…out of confusion can come clarity…out of painful existence can come true living. My greatest respect to all those who have been forced down this road and survived to break those chains. <3<3

    • pawzy4 says:

      So awesome to hear that you totally got the meaning. 🙂 The journey of life is one that has many trials for all of us in different ways and it is a journey that is best taken with the compassion of our fellow man. Hugs to you Mary. I love your reference to the Phoenix. I have always loved that symbol.

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